Oliver: Prayer on the Mountain
by Sentimentalthoughts
Summary: This story takes the reader through the journey on the mountain in LWY with Oliver and his dad to the point when Oliver prays. Much of it is a retelling of events well portrayed. That was the only way I knew to lead us to the prayer. The characters, which inspire me, are the creation of the gifted Martha Williamson.


The trip started uneventfully – get a good night's sleep at Cedardale Lodge, eat a hot breakfast, park the truck at El Dorado Canyon, and begin their hike. Joe and Oliver O'Toole, father and son, go camping together; it's that simple. That certainly sounds like a great weekend.

Oliver was a little apprehensive about their big adventure. He vaguely remembered loving the outdoors as a little boy; nevertheless, he had not spent time hiking, or camping as an adult. He really had no desire to do so. While beautiful, the wilderness felt a little unsettling, unpredictable, and ultimately beyond his control. However, he did want to spend more time with his dad. So at the initiative and insistence of Shane McInerny, Oliver grabbed the gear provided, and went for bonding time.

Joe set the pace and the path for their adventure. In the midst of the massive trees, lush ferns, and singing birds, Oliver viewed himself an overwhelmingly small part of the vast landscape. He knew why God looked upon creation and said that it was good. His human eyes were inadequate for the intricacy, and the majesty of it all; his mind was too finite to comprehend the power of the Creator. He was caught off guard by how easily he experienced the presence of God on this mountain. He entered a sanctuary not built by human hands. He was in awe.

Joe decided they should wander off the main path, as folks are prone to do. Oliver felt a need, a longing, to follow his dad more closely. It wasn't that he was afraid of being lost himself. He was afraid of something happening to his dad. Something inside of him wanted to stay close in order to protect Joe. He thought this notion somewhat silly. After all, his dad was the outdoorsman, the hiker, not him.

Then it happened. While looking back and talking to Oliver, Joe tripped and fell. He suffered a small puncture wound and bruised pride. The incident startled and unnerved Oliver at first. But his dad reassured him that he was fine.

Next, they lost perspective as to their location and couldn't find their way back to the entrance. As time passed, hope of finding the trail off the mountain dimmed. To complicate matters, Joe became sicker by the hour. It became apparent that Joe would not be able to walk out of this wilderness on his on power. The tall trees that once pointed to heaven transformed into ominous and foreboding obstacles to home and safety. Oliver's internal voice of concern deafened him to any singing of birds.

The third day passed into night. Oliver helplessly watched his dad's condition worsen. By nightfall, Joe shivered from fever, and grimaced from pain. He drifted in and out of a restless sleep. As fever overcame Joe, worry overcame Oliver. Had he waited too long to spend time with his dad? Had he come to this place only to lose his dad on this mountain?

In the past, he had allowed misinformation and assumptions break his relationship with his dad, break his heart. Now he felt his heart breaking again, breaking from love for his dad, breaking in fear of losing him.

Why couldn't he think clearly? Hovering over his dad, his eyes searched the area as if a way out or the answer would suddenly appear. Why didn't he call and tell Shane, or Norman, or Dale exactly where they were going before they left? He could have called Dale to tell her that he wouldn't be at church. The choir depended on him. He could have told a number of people but he didn't. Why didn't he pay more attention to the trail from the beginning? Shane was right – his dad wasn't old but he was older. He should have followed more closely; maybe his dad wouldn't have fallen. He was the one who could best see his dad's injury. He should have insisted they turn back then.

Oliver's thoughts followed the painful pattern set from childhood – this must somehow be his fault. He was to blame.

But in this moment, a weak, and ill Joe O'Toole was more concerned about his son than himself. That parental desire to care for his son was rooted at the core of Joe's soul. Even in his fever-induced confusion, he wanted to reassure Oliver. He reassured Oliver that it wasn't his fault. The painful past between his parents wasn't his fault. This present moment wasn't his fault either. Above all, Joe wanted to say, and did say, "I love you, Ollie." No matter what happened, there must not be any question about that.

How many times had Joe said, "love you" as Oliver ran out the door for school or to play? How many times had Oliver not truly heard him? Tonight, he clearly heard his dad's words. The words and thoughts played over in his mind. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault your mother and dad argued, or that she left. It's not your fault that your dad was injured. Ollie, your dad loves you." These words, from his physically ill dad, were healing words. The words poured like a balm over the broken places in Oliver's heart.

Oliver slipped his arm underneath his dad's shoulders, and held him close. He held him close, as if somehow he could protect him from getting worse - protect him from the shadow of death. Just make it through the night. Just make it through the night. His stomach was in knots as he fought tears. As evening passed into the deepening night, Joe entered a deep sleep.

In the stillness, Oliver felt alone. What happened to the presence of God that was so near to him when they started this adventure? Would God hear him now? In the quiet of this clear, cold night, Oliver looked to heaven, and the words of the psalmist came to him, _O Lord, our Lord, as I gaze into the night sky, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars which thou hast established, what is man that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou dost care for him?_

"Oh, care for us, Father," was his soul's cry. "Heavenly Father, hear my prayer. I am afraid. I am afraid of losing my dad. I'm afraid that I have waited too late to start my life over again. I have always believed that You are the God of mercy and redemption, the God of second chances. I am praying for a second chance at life.

Please Father, be with dad and keep him safe, keep him alive. Don't let him die, not now, not tonight. Send help that we may be rescued. I wasted so many years with him. I played the part of judge, juror, and executioner – severing ties with him when I knew not what I was doing. I look back and see many times he covered for my mother, to protect me. I am overwhelmed when I think of his love for me. Forgive me for my foolish ways. You are the great physician. Please grant him your healing care. Grant that I might have the opportunity to make amends, to love him as he has loved me. Hold him close to You, as I hold him close to me this night.

Father, there is hurt that I need to lay down - memories, and hurts, and fears that I need to leave on this mountain. I have spent years carrying around the baggage of my past, rather than embracing the present, and looking to the future. My dad said to leave it here. Help me. Help me to leave all resentment that I have quietly harbored. I am ashamed that my injured pride has excused my lack of forgiveness. In forgiving others and letting go of past resentment, may I experience more fully your forgiveness. Help me to leave the pain of betrayal on this mountain that I may again have the strength to trust and the courage to risk – according to your will and purpose. Help me to leave the fear of being hurt, that I may be set free to love, set free to live.

Father, as I lie here and think about my life, it's strange how clearly I see things on this mountain - as clear as the stars in night sky. I see how in your timing you brought Shane to me. Thank you for her curiosity and tenacity, and for the ways those traits in her were used to free me from the limbo of my life. In all of this, she has been my patient and faithful friend, enduring sometimes my arrogance and sometimes my obstinacy. I pray for our upcoming date. I pray that our first date won't be our last. I pray that as deeply as I hurt her in our last dinner, may I have the opportunity to bring her joy and a sense of being…of being cared for and valued by me. I also know that she doesn't believe as I believe. Help Thou her unbelief. May I never be a stumbling block for her but a stepping-stone to You, O Lord.

In your Holy name, I make this prayer. Amen."

As Oliver finished his prayer, the presence of God overwhelmed him again. Just as he held his dad's hands in his, he felt the hands of God holding both father and son. He drifted to sleep in the reassuring presence of God.

Whatever tomorrow might bring, the baggage of the past would not come with it. Oliver, by the grace of God, would leave that on the mountain. Daybreak was on the horizon, and with it their rescue. A new day, another chance for life, another chance to love was truly beginning.


End file.
